The Guardian 's feminist columnist Jessica Valenti has to be admired for her chutzpah, even if sometimes her execution is a bit messy.
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In a Meet latin women for sex columnfor instance, she tackled a topic that has already gotten me into trouble as a writer currently trying to straddle the two Americas though my Colombian boyfriend gets mad at me for thinking there's more than one: She proceeds to recount how a French commentator "seems genuinely baffled by the curious coupling of American prudishness and male-centric sex Now, any of you who've ever lived outside your home culture will know both how irresistible and how dangerous such cross-cultural comparisons can be.
When, for instance, in a recent column about Shakira I alluded to how living in Colombia has Meet latin women for sex me an earth-shattering new view of sexuality, my readers were outraged at Naughty wife wants sex Cleveland Ohio they called my "racial fetishizing.
Those readers certainly had a point. Let me make something clear: I am not Latina, just a Midwestern kid who happened to learn Spanish young, became best friends with a Mexican, studied Latin American politics, and then moved to Colombia to discover forr culture Meet latin women for sex spent a decade reading about.
I have been in, but not of, Latino culture for many years now. But cultural fascination and good intentions don't get you off the hook for not understanding your own privilege.
I have in the past written about Colombian women for American readers in a way that I believed at the time to be sensitive and progressive, and then, reading my own work translated Meet latin women for sex Spanishrealized that I sounded like an imperialist gringa cow. That's why I say these comparisons are dangerous -- we tend to fall back on existing generalizations i. We have to stop being scared to talk to each other frankly about how our cultures do sex differently and why.
And if we're not prepared to get our feelings hurt or our intentions misunderstood in the process, I fear we'll miss out on each other's insights. What's it like, for instance, to " fornicate while Latina ," as the fantastic writer Erika L.
How does living in an overwhelmingly Catholic family or society shape attitudes about guilt, shame, sex, desire, contraception, porn, motherhood, career?
How does living poor affect these same issues?
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How do these attitudes crystallize into institutions that protect or break down latn What ways have Latina women developed resistance to these pressures? Let me offer my two cents probably not worth much more than that: In Meet latin women for sex experience of living in Latino communities and dating Latin s for years now, I've seen sexuality as simultaneously more vilified and more ubiquitous in everyday life.Hot Housewives Wants Casual Sex Payson
Latin Americans don't just recognize the power of erotic capital but develop and deploy it with gusto. When I asked my Colombian friend V Kidder MO cheating wives she thought it was anti-feminist for women to Meet latin women for sex their erotic capital, she simply shot me a withering, why-are-you-so-goddamn-vanilla glare.
Furthermore, while Latin American beauty culture can feel overwhelming, some women -- my old idol Shakira among them -- argue that feeling sexy can be empowering, subversive, or even a ssx source of social mobility.
Latina women, living inside a culture notorious for its machismo, have developed ferocious strategies for resisting, coopting, and subverting the patriarchy that wmoen their lives. And in many Meet latin women for sex I see them as stronger, more powerful, than women who enjoy greater gender equality in other parts of the world.
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But that's just my thinking on the matter. I'm sure I still sound like an imperialist cow or perhaps a racial fetishist.
So tell me so. I really do want to know.
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If we approach such conversations in the spirit of mutual exchange to grow our global movement, our one-dimensional cultural stereotypes will eventually give Meet latin women for sex to a more nuanced understanding that allows us to expand our collective female wisdom.
But that process can't happen unless we start the conversation and are prepared to look like blundering idiots for a little bit.
Tap here to turn on desktop notifications to get the news sent straight to you. But, still, kudos to Valenti for daring to start the conversation. And for that reason, I welcome Jessica Valenti with me into the cross-cultural clown car. Do Ses s Have Better Sex?